Most people see me and even when they talk to me, don’t realise I am autistic, that I suffer severely from debilitating depression, anxiety, stress, low self esteem, which means I hide away from the world when things are bad, that I have x6 autoimmune diseases, that I question myself often and every decision I make. I have to think 5 or 10 steps ahead, because I’ve been taken advantage of, abused mentally, physically and emotionally, and even had an ex poisoning me. I have been accused of many things, which none are true and I have tried to help everyone I meet, because I don’t want them to struggle or go through what I’ve been through. we talk about accepting people for who they are, yet people judge and comment and slag people off for having a different view on life, for feeling an emotion or for opening themselves up to being vulnerable. I know 99% of my acquaintances on here won’t bother reading this, or give two hoots. I not saying this for attention, that isn’t me. But for those few who do read this, please remember, we all have struggles which we choose not to share with the world. Most things we keep private. So if you see someone, don’t judge them, you don’t know their daily battle/s. Instead, offer them a kind word and see if you can do anything for them. They may say no at first, but just knowing someone is there willing to help, can make a huge difference.
I want to leave this world a better place than when I came into it, if everyone had this attitude, what an amazing world we would live in.
“If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion — how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” 1 John 3:17-18 NLT
We ask God as Christians to bless us and we ask God to heal us. Yet we usually forget to ask God to allow us to be a blessing to others.
If we look at Jesus’ life and ministry, we see not just a man, but God who loved us so much that he served others (John Ch13: v1-17 NCV, Matthew Ch14: v13-21 NCV) As Christmas approaches, we remember the birth of our Lord and Saviour, and how He wasn’t born in a palace with riches but in a lowly stable where animals were kept. Then through His life and Ministry we see Him serving others and teaching others right from wrong, who God really is and how to be made right with our Heavenly Father.
That same heart, which God has for us, is also in us, if we stay in Christ (Ephesians Ch3: v17-19 NCV, Ephesians Ch4: v15-17 NCV). If we spend time with the Father, then we learn from Him. Jesus is the embodiment of that Father, and when Jesus ascended to Heaven, He sent The Holy Spirt to guide us and be with us always.
As we see Peter and John in Acts Ch3: v1-11 NCV entering the temple and a lame man who was begging at the temple entrance asked them for a gift, and Paul said, I have no Gold or Silver but I give you freely what is given to me, in Jesus’ name be healed, and the man was healed.
So even though we may not financially be able to help, we can still be a blessing. Let The Holy Spirit guide you and see where you can be a blessing to others around you, in your community and in your church.
So “through The Holy Spirt, and the name or our Lord and Saviour Jesus, I ask God to lay His hands upon you and bless you in every way, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, that you will have a heart filled with The Holy Spirit and love for others, that you will be a blessing to those in need and that your hearts will be in turn with our Heavenly Father’s and help those in need. I also ask that through those blessings, The Holy Spirit will give you the words, the wisdom, the knowledge and understanding of Christ, to speak into their lives and help bring them to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour. In Jesus, name I ask this, Amen”
I want to talk to you about depression and what it entailed for me.
I never slept well, I would wake up throughout the night several times, time would seem to pass so fast, I would loose track of days. I would close my eyes and it would feel like 5 minutes as passed however it would be anything from an hour to four hours. I wouldn’t sleep well, I would struggle to get up in the mornings, and most days it would be after 12 noon and sometimes later. I struggled to do anything, most days, just getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, combing my hair, doing my ablutions, going downstairs, making breakfast was sometimes just to much to cope. I struggled every day for the last 30 plus years.
As a Christian, I trust and believe in Jesus as the Son of God… The Word of God which became flash, who came to earth and died for my sin (my wrongful acts and thoughts, which displeased and went against God’s will). Because of this, and because of Jesus’ teachings that He came to give life and life abundantly (John Ch 10: verses 9-11 ESV) I believe as many Christians believe, Jesus will heal me of the many health conditions I have.
At times this has been a real struggle, and at times I have believed the lies satan (including his demons) has told me, that I am worthless, I won’t be healed, why would God heal me? God doesn’t love me or He would heal me, God isn’t real. satan is a master manipulator and anyone who has been in a relationship with anyone who manipulates them, will know how those people will twist the truth and lie to get what they want. I learnt that the hard way.
Yesterday, I had a bad day, I broke down and I figuratively speaking, fell on my knees in tears and said to God.
“Lord, I’m loosing my faith. I have prayed for so many years, asking for healing and every time I do, my health gets worse or something else happens and I get another condition or health issue. I can’t take anymore, why won’t you heal me, you say you love me, and I’ve seen you work in my life, yet the healing I need, I don’t receive. Even if it’s just the depression you heal me from, I could do more and get some things sorted in my life and home. Please heal me”
After my meltdown and it was a meltdown, I won’t sugar coat it, I started to think about how Jesus teaches about praying for the sick, how Jesus and then the disciples healed the sick, the lame and the blind etc. I will add here, I’ve been using the YouVerson Bible app and reading Bible Plans by Nicky Gumbel and Joyce Meyer on healing, healthy mind, understanding Jesus and The Bible In One Year since lockdown. After all of these things, I reached out to the Church which Nicky Gumbel worships at, plus a Prayer network and I even contacted my minister as I felt I was loosing my faith due to these health issues.
I don’t know if the church or prayer network has had anyone pray for me yet, but I know my minister has. He responded with some Bible passages which I want to add below because they have helped me and if you are suffering with health issues, I pray they will help and support you in your faith.
Quote “There is much we don’t understand about God and his ways, But we can still trust him – where else can we turn? I have some verses of scripture to encourage you…Firstly remember this… 1 Peter ch 1: v6-9 NCV; 1 Peter ch 4: v1 NCV. Also when your faith is feeling week be encouraged to dig into the word and fellowship. Romans ch 10: v17 NCV and Romans ch 1: v12 NCV” End Quote
The one thing I want you to remember and like my minister said. Dig into the Word of God. Even if you do not know where to start reading, just start reading. Try starting with the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), and trust and believe God has your best interests at heart.
This brings me to what I want to share with you today. A VICTORY OVER DEPRESSION.
Last night I kept waking up, and as I said previously, I normally I would close my eyes and several hours (like 4 hours would pass and I’d feel like it had been 5 minutes and felt I had no sleep), last night I kept waking up and I found only 30 minutes to an hourish would pass but I didn’t feel tired as much and it didn’t feel like 5 minutes had passed. This happened several times and I thought it’s not like a normal night. I was reminded this morning (I believe by The Holy Spirit) of Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity, where time can either feel fast or slow depending upon the circumstances. Normally I sleep a lot, even if it’s intermittently due to being overwhelmingly tired. I can loose hours at a time and feel like I’ve not done anything all day (most of the time) and says can blur into another making me lose weeks at a time. This morning I felt a change, I felt time was moving differently and that something chemically had changed. Overnight, I believe God has changed my chemical makeup in the brain and healed me of depression. I say this as I don’t feel the same as I did yesterday or previously. I have that nagging in the back of my mind that it will come back. “It’s only a temporary thing” but I believe that is satan trying to lie and make me disbelieve the Miracle God has Blessed me with.
My spirit and my heart believes I am healed, even if my mind is lagging a little behind waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak, however I am choosing to trust in Christ, My Saviour. As Joyce Meyer’s says, get your head in the right mindset.
I have prayed the following prayer for myself and I pray it for all who read this to. God has your back, even if you don’t feel Him with you, He never leaves you or forsakes you Hebrews ch 13: v5, Deuteronomy ch 31: v6
“Lord Jesus, Thank you so much for healing me. I know I have several conditions and even though they may not be dealt with yet, you have healed me of depression and I am truly grateful for that. Thank you for Loving me and Blessing me with this gift and a healthy mind. I ask for your Blessings to speak into every part of my life and make me whole like Jesus, in your name Lord Jesus I ask this, Amen”
How many Christians have we met and even ourselves, I know I have, where we read God’s Word and think that’s it, I’ve done my part. Pat myself on the back what a good boy/girl I am and what a good and faithful servant I am. Yet we forget to then spend time with God, sitting with Him, thinking about what we have just read in the Bible, and chatting to Him about it and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts to what God wants to reveal to us this day.
I would love for you to read day 10 of Joyce Meyer’s Daily Devotional “Battlefield of the mind”. You may like to read the full 14 day devotional over the two week period and help receive amazing insight by The Holy Spirit via Joyce Meyer.
“Lord Jesus, Thank you for your unconditional love and support, you know our failings and you still accept us and take us in as part of your Royal Household. You’ve forgiven and forgotten our sins. Thank you. Please forgive our sins and make us whole in You. Help us to have open hearts, open minds to what your Holy Spirit is wanting to teach us this day. Build us up, strengthen us and heal us, in your name I ask this Lord Jesus, Amen”
As a Christian, Prayer is part of my everyday life just like millions of others. In a world we’re we live and expect things now, straight away and hate waiting even an extra 30 seconds for a microwave to finish, when it comes to Prayers being answered, we usually have to wait on God and His timing.
Rick Warren says it best:
Rick Warren writes, ‘When the request is not right, God says “No”. When the timing is not right, God says “Slow”. When you are not right, God says “Grow”. But when the request is right and the timing is right and you are right, God says “Go”.’
BobOnLife 
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